I’m happy to announce my new book written with @keltieknight out on Valentine’s Day.
Tonight, for the first time in a really long time, I feel like I’m going to be okay. That I’m going to survive this.
I shut down a very unhealthy relationship with someone who was using me for her own personal gain. I don’t need her, and I don’t want her in my life anymore.
I’m making amends, making apologies to those that I have hurt. To try and show them that I am truly sorry for the person I was when we were together.
The most important thing is - I’M TRYING.
So fuck you for judging me.
Fuck you for using me.
Fuck you for thinking that I somehow stood some sort of threat for what you believed you deserved from this life.
You don’t know me. And you don’t know us. You never will.
And I’m done letting you know about the things that are none of your goddamn business.
Sometimes I feel like I’m losing anyone I let get too close. They all find something or someone better than me, and who can blame them? I’m stuck in the past, while they’re all moving on with their lives. Who am I to stop them? They all deserve to be happy. That’s all I want for them, even if it means leaving me behind. I just hope that they know that all I want is for them to be happy. I love them all so much, so I guess I should stop trying to hold onto them so tightly…
She said, “The editor is going to need a brief description of your writing style.”
I brushed my teeth and thought about it.
I returned to my computer and typed, “Imagine if Mitch Albom and Henry Rollins were fighting while Dan Savage and Bukowski were jerking each other off in the corner while the jukebox alternated between God Save The Queen and Dear Mama - I would be the little kid outside of that club petting feral cats and screaming about how I should be on the list.”
Sometimes I wonder if we will ever be again. Just a small part of what once was…
Even if it never happens, I hope you know that I think about you often. And I hope that you are okay.